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LEATHER SLAVE MASTER DISCIPLINE SCENE

NYBondageCLub - Gay Meetings For Men 4 Men interested in BDSM Activities in New York City!

is a complete encounter. It may or may not involve sexual activity.

It may help to think of a scene as the BDSM equivalent of what might be considered a romantic interlude or erotic encounter. While what constitutes such an encounter will vary depending on the people, kink and lifestyle involved, almost everyone in the community uses the term.

A scene can take place in private between two people, or in a club where it can be viewed by an audience. When a scene takes place in public it may be because the participants enjoy the thrill of being watched by others, or because of the equipment available, or because having third parties present adds safety for play partners who have only recently met. There is an etiquette in most clubs which regulates how the onlookers may interact with the people in the scene.

The term also has another use among people into BDSM. Many refer to the general BDSM community as "The Scene."

In the BDSM world, limits refer to activities that a partner feels strongly about, and to which special attention must be paid.

Before a BDSM scene, it is common to perform a negotiation to outline what will and will not happen during the play session. During this time, all participants outline what they desire and what they will not tolerate. This is the time to discuss limits.

Both dominants and submissives can express limits. They can be spoken or written, and discussing them fully usually results in an improved experience for all involved.

Popular variants include:

Hard Limit - something that must not be done. Violating a hard limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship. Examples include " scat is a hard limit for me" or "I have a back injury, so striking on the back is a hard limit". Soft Limit - something that someone will do only in special circumstances or when highly aroused. Example - "I will only do anal sex with a very experienced partner". "Must" limit - something that a person will not do the scene without. Examples include "lots of hair pulling is a must-limit for me" or "If you're going to flog me, I'll need lots of aftercare ". Time limit - an amount of time after which play ceases. No Limits - the dominant may do anything he or she cares to with the submissive. This is usually a sign of an inexperienced player who does not yet know what their limits are. In reality, even the most hardened and experienced players have limits. "No limits" play is more the stuff of porn and thriller movies than in actual, real-life BDSM. This is also sometimes used as a term for TPE or Total Power Exchange .

In BDSM , a contract is an agreement, usually written, between the Dominant and submissive in a 24/7 or TPE relationship. It is the formal act of consent to the power exchange.

Some are very formal and will detail exactly what is expected and can run for multiple pages. Others are as brief as a single paragraph. Either way, one is derived by negotiation on the part of both parties. BDSM couples consider the contract to hold equal moral authority to a marriage commitment. As such, constructing a proper contract is very much like writing a pre-nuptial agreement .

General outline

A typical contract contains many of the following elements. As there is no consensus within the BDSM community to the structure of a contract, this list is to serve as an example from which the Dominant and submissive may construct a document that both sides will accept.

 

Petition

The Petition acts in the same manner as a Cover letter for a résumé . In a petition a submissive will make their plea to the Dominant and may outline why they are seeking to be in service to the Dominant. Generally not used with a relationship that existed prior to the contract, however, for a submissive who is in search of a Dominant, this feature helps to show professionalism and attention to detail. The Petition should go into detail of your request, why you wish to be in service, your goals, and why you've chosen this dominant specifically.

 

Names and Roles of Parties

Generally the opening portion of the contract states the names of the parties, and spells out what roles they play. Many reflect a degree of affected legalese (e.g., "herein referred to as Master"), though it is in no way required. Couples who are concerned about the existence of a " paper trail " may consider omitting the names, or taking a pseudonym .

 

Term of Service

The contract should define the period of service. Generally, beginning couples start with a one to three month contract. This allows for a couple to explore the confines of the relationship without an onerous lifetime commitment.

 

Rules, Duties, and Goals

Each party should specify the rules and duties that are expected to be enforced during the contract period. This is also where the level of protocol is spelled out. The more detail agreed to ahead of time, the less likely misunderstandings will appear later.

 

Limits

Each party lists the BDSM activities that they will and will not agree to. Many use some form of a BDSM checklist that is included in, or attached to the contract. This establishes what limits each party requires.

 

Termination Requirements

This section dictates who can terminate the agreement, and under what circumstances. Many contracts state that the Dominant may breach the contract at will, while the submissive can only terminate the contract under circumstances that are dictated within the contract (which may include non-consentual abuse or neglect, or repeated violations of limits). If there is a safeword that the submissive can use to end the contract, it is included here.

 

Signature of all Parties

The act of signing the contract formalizes the existence of the relationship. Additionally, some contracts may include the signatures of one or two witnesses.

 

BDSM Contracts and the Law

BDSM contracts are not legally binding. In areas of the world where BDSM activities are illegal, contracts brought to light can be used to prosecute those involved in the BDSM lifestyle. For example, in many countries consent is not a defense to assault, and a BDSM contract may not protect a dominant from being charged with criminal activity.

Contracts can, however, be used to show that the relationship was voluntary and may help in convincing a prosecutor (and if that fails, a jury), that a conviction is not warranted. In this case the contract has equal legal weight to a waiver .

Contracts can also help show which activities were agreed to and which were not. A contract that specifically states that a dominant may not disfigure the submissive, would allow a jury to differentiate between the acts which have been consented to and the disfigurement which has not, and impose sanctions accordingly.

Negotiation in BDSM community is a form of communication where participants make arrangements on each others' requirements, responsibilities and limits to find the best possible agreement.

As BDSM is sexual practice that keeps to SSC philosophy, negotiation is necessary to set sexual activity within the boundaries of these principles.

Activity within BDSM relationships requires trust, openness about most practices that may include risks. On the other hand, partners have certain needs which should be clearly defined in order to be properly satisfied. In this regard, negotiation is essential part not only when parties were not familiar with each other but also in case when partners have long-term relationships.

Negotiation may not only concern a particular session but touch upon a more wide range of subjects on a BDSM philosophy in general: considerations on a lifestyle, the perspectives of the relationships, religious beliefs and many other issues that can be in one way or another connected to BDSM activity.

Negotiation within the limits of BDSM practice can be performed either verbally or in written form. One of the most common ways to clarify all the issues concerning participation in BDSM activity is to make use of negotiation form.

Negotiation form form is a list of needs, limits and activities within BDSM practice presented to both participants for a specification of the details of BDSM session.

Types of negotiation

1. Scene negotiation takes place before the actual participation in BDSM session, during the session and after it. It can be done in written form, where all the topics discussed will be listed for agreement or disagreement. This is made to evaluate the possible productivity of the session and compatibility of both partners.

Negotiation on a pre-scene phase may include discussing such things as:

  • Arrangement of Roles - who will take the part of the top partner or bottom partner, and participation of any other observers, the way partners address each other;
  • Expectations and needs of both partners - likes and dislikes of submissive and dominant partners and the ability to fulfill each other's needs;
  • Limits of the scene - boundaries that are set to define what experience is acceptable within psychological (such as humiliation , obedience or verbal violation ) and physical limits (such as pain, marks and resistance to various influences);
  • Types of play - practices that would be included in a scene: bondage , role-playing , spanking or sensory deprivation;
  • BDSM Gear and attire - what materials, adult toys and fetish wear will be used;
  • Duration of the scene - at what time the game starts and ends, who will be in charge of the time;
  • Health concerns - talking over existent health problems: allergies , chronic diseases , STD 's, taking any medications and other;
  • Safety measures - any safety tools to prevent situations when something goes wrong;
  • Sexual contact - what type of sexual activity is accepted if any;
  • Safe words - one or set of verbal and non-verbal signs that will be used to stop the play or slow it down.

Negotiation that takes place after session is focused mainly on the following: possible drawbacks or otherwise positive moments, feelings and suggestions on the next sessions.

2. Relationships negotiation is a form of negotiation that concerns consideration of building up a scene relationship or a more committed 24/7 relationships. Partners who are interested in long-term relationships sign up a kind of contract that is similar to one a couple signs when getting married. Together with the questions that concern BDSM activity, partners discuss long-term arrangements: type of relationship, agreement on living together, financial and psychological responsibilities. When both parties agree on TPE relationships they usually agree on signing up a contract in support of their commitment to BDSM lifestyle and each other. Such contracts do not have a legal base but they allow partners to determine all the aspects of their lifestyle more clearly.

Sexual roleplay is a sexual behavior between two or more people in which they take on erotic roles to carry out a sexual fantasy . The depth of the roleplay depends on the couple, and the scenario may be anywhere from simple and makeshift to detailed and elaborate, complete with costumes and a script. The popularity of the internet has also allowed for online sexual encounters, known as cybersex , which may involve roleplay.

Sexual roles can be very general designations of power position, sometimes abstracted to " top " and " bottom ," or very specific, detailed fantasies. Nearly any role could become the base material for an erotic experience, and there is no limit to what objects an individual could consider erotic. Many of the most common sexual roleplays involve a power differential.

Sources:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_sexual_behavior
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obedience
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetish_clothing
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_word
http://www.bondage-guide.net/bdsm_basics/negotiation-form.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_practice
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Total_Power_Exchange
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limits_(BDSM)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lifestyle

 
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